chariotonfire

Sindrella

Once there was a widower called Jabu who married a proud and haughty woman Winnie as his second wife. She had two daughters Beauty and Prudence who were equally vain.

By his first wife, he had had a beautiful young daughter who was a beautiful sweet tempered girl. The Stepmother Winnie and her daughters forced the first daughter to complete all the housework, washing, cooking of the sadza and the making of the (Umqombothi) beer. When the girl had done her work, she sat in the cinders of the fire, which caused her to be called “Sindrella”. The poor girl bore these insults patiently, because her two stepsisters were hermaphrodites and much bigger than her. They were gold medal winners in discus and shot put respectively. Fo sho!

One day Prince Showerhead Zoombazo invited all the young ladies in the land to a reed dance so he could check them out and choose another wife. As the two Stepsisters were invited too, they gleefully planned how skimpy their skirts would be and how much of their large impundus (behinds) and upper bodies they were going to display. Although Sindrella assisted them and dreamed of going to the dance, they taunted her by saying, a maid could never attend a ball unless she had her own taxi fare home.

As the sisters swept away to the ball in their black Guvment issue Beamers, Sindrella cried in despair. Eish!

Her Fairy Sangoma magically appeared and vowed to assist Sindrella in attending the ball. Using her lizards eyes, bats teeth, and lots of assorted bones and her guvment allowance she bought a gleaming black Mercedes, and turned mice into motorbike outriders, a toad, because of its big mouth, into a youth league leader, snakes into security policemen and a taxi driver and “guardtjie” were employed to drive the Merc. She then turned Sindrella’s rags into a beautiful grass skirt, complete with a delicate pair of glass size 12’s for her feet. The Sangoma told her to enjoy the ball, but return before midnight, for the spells would be broken when the vuvuzella was blown for the twelth time.

At the ball, all the elders, chiefs and Guvment ministers were entranced by Sindrella, especially the Prince, who never left her side. Unrecognized by her sisters, Sindrella remembered to leave before midnight and was rushed home in a blue light convoy at 120kph in a 60kph zone. Back home, Sindrella graciously thanked her Sangoma. She then greeted Beauty and Prudence who enthusiastically talked of nothing but the beautiful girl at the ball.

When another dance was held the next evening, Sindrella again attended with her Sangoma’s help. The Prince became so entranced, as he was with any woman, that his shower head kept falling over his eyes. However, this evening, she lost track of time and left only at the final blow of the vuvuzella, losing one of her glass no 12’s on the steps of the palace in her haste. The Prince chased her, but outside the palace, the guards had seen only a simple country wench leave. The Prince put the no 12 in a Checkers packet and vowed to find and marry the girl to whom it belonged. Meanwhile, Sindrella kept the other slipper, which had not disappeared when the spell had broken.

The Prince tried the slipper on all the women in KZN, but without any success. When the Prince arrived at Sindrella’s compound, the Stepsisters tried to fit the shoes in vain. When Sindrella asked if she might try, (Hawh! Becos she knew her numba twelve would fit) the Stepsisters teased her. Naturally, the slipper fit perfectly, and Sindrella produced the other slipper for good measure. The Stepsisters begged for forgiveness, and Sindrella forgave them for their cruelties.

Sindrella returned to the palace where she married the Prince and became his fifth wife, and the Stepsisters also married two sub chiefs. They moved into five star hotels while they were waiting for their houses to be redecorated for the fifth time and all lived happily ever after on the gravy obtained from the gravy train, their shares in Eishkom and all the payments from the arms and aircraft bribes.

Bookmark or share It

Hide Sites